My Son Hates Going To Church

My son hates going to church. And I can't say that I blame him. It's hard to find a church body where kids aren't perceived as an inconvenience to be shuffled-off to Sunday school. Do you think they know they're not wanted around the adults?

Here's what I know to be true....When a child has committed him or herself to following Jesus, and invites the Holy Spirit into his or her heart, the Holy Spirit is the same size inside that child's heart as it is in any adult's heart. That child can and should be nurtured in their faith so they can grow in maturity. That would mean they should know that they too can hear God speak to their heart, obey Him, pray for someone in need, have a word of encouragment for someone, and generally display the love of Christ in an outward way to those around them.

What happens in most churches (meaning groups of believers meeting together) is that those children aren't looked at as equals in the faith. Granted, there is a lot of maturing to do physically, emotionally and spiritually. But it is important for that young child who has faith to be free to express their faith in many ways and taught to do so. In doing so, they are having their own experience with Jesus and not relying on only knowing Him through his or her parents' relationship with Him. They will have their own story to tell about how they know Jesus.

Children can oftentimes more effectively show the love of God to others without inhibition and with a greater level of sincerity and innocence. Faith like a child is something to aspire to. Hearing a child share about God's love and their own story of what He means to them can be very profound and touching. It can soften the hardest heart. It can break down the highest walls.

I've seen it in action. At the nursing home. I sat next to an elderly woman who immediately said, "I don't need to talk to anyone. I'm fine." I said, "Oh, no problem," and turned to the woman on the other side whom I had already been talking with, wanting to respect the first woman's desire to sit quietly with nobody talking with her. Isabella, my 3 year old, came along and touched the unsociable woman's arm. She has a way of looking deeply into someone's eyes. The woman was surprised at her intensity and kind smile. She immediately started engaging in a conversation with Isabella. Isabella got very close to her and was reaching her hand out to her, which the woman took in hers. The woman's countenance changed. A smile broke out on her face. Soon, the three of us were chatting away. She began to share her life with us. Her company was a joy. And I felt she thought ours was as well.

Flashback to Sunday at church. Liam had questions regarding communion as it was being taken. Apparently, we should have shuffled-off to a "crying room." Now, if my son was just goofing around and making lots of noise, I can understand the glares from the woman in front of me and consequent "suggestion" that we move it into the crying room (which I never even knew about as we are new and don't know all the "rules"). However, my son had some very legitimate questions, I replied to them in his ear, we were sitting in the very last row. I had no idea that teaching my son was somehow disruptive. It is the general consensus as that Sunday was the very first time they were trying out having the kids with the adults for the worship time (and the other children stayed in a group in the back corner of the room with their Sunday school teachers rather than dispersed to sit among their own families. That might have been a little too much!)

We have been looking for a church body to be part of in our new town. We have a lot of new friends at this church, and they've always welcomed our children very lovingly outside of the actual church service. I know this is just one person's bad response (the tone was not loving, but I also know too that she had no idea of the issues we've been having with our son's dislike for church). I find this is an all too often a typical attitude towards children in the church. We plan to maintain the friendships we have made there, but will find a church group to commit to where we are sure our children will know they are welcome and will look forward to being active participants.